I am thinking of getting a makeover. The idea came to me as I was lying on the
floor doing my daily back stretching exercises while watching the Today Show
with Hoda and Kathy Lee. As you may or
may not know Hoda and Kathy have a regular segment where family members write
in and make a plug for a loved one to be selected for a makeover on their
show. They provide a picture and a written
pitch as to why their candidate should be chosen.
If chosen they are flown to New York with the one who
nominated them, fawned over by a bevy of beauty experts, pampered from head to
toe, dressed in clothes designed by some Frenchman, then, after showing the
national TV audience a “before” picture, comes out from behind door #1 to
reveal herself. You can almost hear the collective
gasp of the national TV audience as the nominator stares in disbelief at the “after”
version.
At this time the “after” person says she has never been
happier, her life has changed wishes she had made the move years ago and thanks
her nominator, who by now has collected herself enough to speak.
This last part is what gets me to thinking. Why can’t guys have a makeover? If it does all that for someone, sign me
up. Of course I will have to sign myself
up because no one I know will nominate me.
The first anyone from my family will know is when I wave to them on
TV.
I would call the show Stud Re-Do. The premise being that we are not starting
with a blank canvas but merely trying to freshen the paint a little bit. Maybe we get Justin Timberlake to be the MC
and work it into his appearances on Saturday Night Live.
The first show in New York would have to be a knockout. Maybe we go with Gary Busey and Mel
Gibson. One needs some cosmetic help and
the other a new image, and then me.
Before the show we would meet with our team and discuss what we envision
for the “after” version of us.
First, the hair. I
have always wanted hair like Rod Stewart but then again I’m partial to the spiky
Colin Farrell look. Since the whole idea
is to come up with a fresh outlook I would probably go with the Colin Farrell
look. He is more contemporary plus he’s
Irish, a huge plus. I like the whole bad
ass thing he has going on.
The ensemble might require a casual or day time look and an
evening look. At night I go with the
James Bond look. It’s suave and
cool. Because I need a little help in
that department it is any easy decision.
The casual day time attire might be a hodge podge. Unlike most clothing fads that come and go
Quiksilver has not and remains my favorite.
I love the surfing vibe. But with
the goal here being something new I must make some hard decisions. The tight legged pants popular now make you
look like a pear with legs so that’s a no go for me. The same with the whole European thing. It makes you look like all your clothes
shrunk 3 sizes. And a white belt, hell
no.
So, with show time approaching I am forced to make a
decision. I settle on a pair of Black
Nike’s. Comfy, slightly baggy, bleached
Lucky jeans. A Keith Urban style T-shirt
with an eagle or something on the front.
It being winter now I would want a zip up sweater/hooded sweat shirt combo
of a mix between Boss and Tommy Bahama in muted Bob Marley colors. I would love to top it off with a lavender
pork pie hat but then my Colin Farrell do would not show. No hat.
As I step out from behind door #3 and wave to my family back
in California I can hear them saying to each other “Dad’s lost it.”
