THE RED CARPET

A thought occurred to me while watching the recent Emmy’s. Jimmy Fallon did an outstanding job of coming up with a fresh approach to what has become a tired format, by the way, but that is not what I wanted to discuss here. It is the attention given to the Red Carpet before, during and after the various entertainment industry award shows and the near manic obsession with and analysis of the dresses and gowns worn by the female attendees. More precisely, who it is that is passing judgment on these ladies and either praising or humiliating them before a viewing audience of millions. Half of that audience happens to be men and as a seasoned observer I feel I must speak out on their behalf.

For the purposes of this blog I am making the assumption that when a woman dresses for an evening out with her man she dresses to please HIM. Sure she has colors and styles she likes but she wants him to approve. If it is a casual night out she dresses accordingly as she also would for a romantic, candle lit dinner. Men do the same. I know when I dress for the evening with my lady, if I am met with “You’re wearing that?” I quickly retreat and change clothes.

Which brings me to my point? Why are those critiquing the Red Carpet ladies, for the men of America, either women or those with a decidedly female bent? Why are they telling men what looks good on a woman, especially what looks sexy? I don’t think they have a clue what looks sexy to men. I have heard these women media types say “That’s a very sexy gown” and I had to rewind to make sure we were looking at the same woman. Those one shoulder gowns they seem to love, no way. Doesn’t do it for us. Those outfits that force them to lay on a slant board on the ride to the show, ahhh, no.

To rectify this situation, I have a proposal. For the next big entertainment awards show, say, the Oscars, lets select a media crew to work the Red Carpet that represents the men of America. It would be a cross section of guys representing varying ages and interests. For the inaugural group I suggest we go with a group of 5 guys. They would be stationed at various spots along the Red Carpet to offer their insight. Microphone in hand, they would give the country their opinions of the various ensembles from a man’s perspective.

There are many men worthy of being one of these 5 but, just to start the ball rolling, I will select our first group. To begin, I am going with Joe the Plumber. Fiercely American and obviously not afraid to speak up, he will be perfect for greeting the ladies as they ascend from their limousines. Second, how about George Clooney? No further explanation needed. Half way through their journey along the Red Carpet would be Dale Earnhardt Jr., a popular NASCAR driver that would give us a good southern, red neck perspective. Next would be Kobe Bryant, an admirer of the female form and a fashion plate in his own right. The anchor man is Jimmy Kimmel. A glib, naturally funny and master of the off-the-cuff comment kind of guy, that is needed here. If the women of the Red Carpet care, and I know they do, this group would give them an honest opinion of what men think of their choice of wear for the evening rather than what other women think.

I doubt if you would hear the words “stunning” or “exquisite” from this group. More like “fine” or “awesome”. But whatever they say we would finally hear how MEN feel about the fashion choices of the ladies of the Red Carpet. If you think this is a preposterous idea, consider this. Supposing, when the next Oscars come along, instead of having women critiquing the ladies, we had men critiquing the men. Can you imagine hearing a man telling a nationwide television audience that “He looks so sexy this evening?” I don’t think so.

If the truth be known, give us a lady with slightly askew hair, over-sized mans dress shirt, faded blue jeans and bare feet, and we will go quietly into the night.