THE SHOWDOWN



When I was a sophomore in high school I began to think that if I was ever going to have a shot a college education I had better get my act together.  That meant taking the proper college prep classes as well as a few elective classes other than metal shop and agriculture that may be helpful to me in my journey.  One of the classes I decided to take was typing.  Little did I know that besides allowing me to type my own term papers and the like, I was laying the groundwork for being computer literate some years off in the future.

The first day of the fall semester I walked into a jam packed classroom and looked for a seat.  Tables were lined up with 2 chairs and 2 typewriters per table, facing the teacher’s desk.  Every seat was taken except for one seat at a table in the front row, directly in front of the teacher.  There was a girl sitting in the right seat so I settled in next to her.  I was to learn later why this seat was vacant. 

I introduced myself to her (her name was Babs) and got the briefest of nods and a “don’t bother me” look.  I glanced around the room to see if there were any other vacant seats.  There were none.  In fact, several students were giving me rather sympathetic glances. 

I was to learn that this girl was the quintessential “secretary”.  She could already type at warp speed and was only taking the class to fulfill a requirement.  She was obviously bored with the whole thing, especially me.  She even looked the part.  Remember the character Lily Tomlin used to play on Laugh-In, the phone operator with the scrunched up mouth, squinty eyes and prissy, condescending attitude?   Babs was a dead ringer for her. 

The early part of the semester was spent learning which keys were which.  Then we progressed to testing against the clock.  We started with basic stuff like “The quick brown fox jumped over………” and gradually progressed to more lengthy material.  The teacher would say “Begin” and start the clock.  At the end of the allotted time we were judged on how many words we had finished.  After a time that changed to how many correct words we had finished. 

Babs always led the class by miles.  Starting from total scratch, I was but a blip on her radar.  She would finish way before I did and look totally annoyed while I thrashed away.  It was easy to judge how I was doing against her because at the end of each line typed we would have to throw the carriage arm to go to the next line.  At the start I would get a few words in and she was already throwing the arm, usually more than once before I would finish the first line.

It was obvious she had already reached peak efficiency and was not going to improve by virtue of participation in this basic skills typing class.  I, on the other hand, as the semester progressed was getting to be more than just a blip on her radar.  She was still a blur but I was gradually increasing my CWM (corrected words per minute) and closing the gap.

The big day came for our final exam.  Little did she know that from day one I was bound and determined to crush her.  On the sly I practiced every chance I got.  As I strode into the classroom and took my seat I felt a quiet confidence.  Trying to pump myself up I thought to myself “Babs, you’re going down.”  I looked at her, she nodded and I nodded.  It was on! 

At the signal to start, she was blazing; I was blazing, elbow to elbow.  She hit the arm a fraction before I did, but it was close.  As each line went by she increased her lead gradually until the finish.  But at the finish I was on the same line she was.  I don’t believe in moral victories if you don’t win but this might have been one.  Out of the 30 some students in the class she finished first and I was second at 80 some words per minute.  Actually, when they factored in the correct words per minute I was about 20^th.  But I had my pride.  I could call myself a man.