VIRUS WARNING

Sorry for the hiccup. I know all my ardent followers are waiting with bated breath for my next chapter of North to Alaska and I have been trying valiantly to maintain some consistency to my posting but I have a good excuse for the delay. I was attacked by a virus called "Personal Security". I don't mean me personally, I mean my computer. I'll explain.

A small group, of which I am a member, has been brainstorming idea's that we hope will someday find us up to our you-know-what in tall cotton. I can't divulge classified secrets here but one idea was related to the business of tattoo's. In researching the project I Googled "tattoo magazine advertising" in the hopes of learnng what the rates are for various size ads in tattoo magazines. I clicked on one purporting to be the oldest magazine in the industry. The name of the magazine was "Prick". I am not an expert on the subject but I believe needles are involved in the tattoo process so I felt the name was appropriate.

Somewhere during the clicking around the site, all hell broke lose. Warning lights started flashing and messages appeared on my screen warning of impending doom if I did not act immediately. There were drives and programs being affected at an alarming rate and unless I followed the on-screen instruction my computer would be reduced to a pile of ashes. These instructions were my first clue that something was amiss. No where on any of them was there a recognizable logo, such as Windows, Microsoft or any of the well know anti-virus programs. Only the name "Personal Security".

After going through various stages of the trap calling for the need for a new authorization code and other information, there was the telltale call for my credit card number so that, for $69 for the basic cure or $79 for the super cure, my computer would be virus free in minutes. Now I'm not the tallest corn in the field but I know this is not good. In one of my smarter moves, I ignore the warnings and shut her down.

The next night my daughter comes by after work to bail me out. I don't want to say she is as knowledgeable as Bill Gates when it comes to computers but she's close. She works well into the night to no avail. It is almost as if the virus anticipates every move.

The following night she brings by this super duper Webroot software that's supposed to be the cats meow. Another late nighter utilizing all her wits gets us within one click of victory, but no cigar. She tells me that, against her better judgement at the time, she had purchased a service contract with the Webroot software purchase. There is still some hope. We agree that I will get them on the phone the next day and walk through a cure.

An hour and a half phone call ends with them telling me that they will e-mail me detailed instructions on what to do in an attempt to fix it myself. If not, the next step is for $120 they can fix it remotely. The other thing the gentleman told me was that if I had paid the $69 to Personal Security the $69 would be the least of my worries. They would have every credit card number, password, social security number and ID's I had. Yikes!!!

I painstakingly went through every step of their instructions, starting my computer in the Safe Mode, running the sweep, etc., etc.. Per their instructions, I repeated the entire process. It appeared as though we were making progress. Each sweep resulted in quaranteening more viruses. The finish line was within my grasp. Then my screen goes blank. Whether it was a result of the virus or not I don't know but the timing is certainly suspicious.

A half a day later much fruitless analysis and repair ends with a phone call to tech support at Dell who informs me my monitor is shot. But if I act now I can have a new $189 monitor for the one time only price of $149, overnighted to my door step. I tell them I appreciate the offer but I will think about it as I am considering getting a lap top.